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  • the worst is when you have superwood laying on your stomach while you sleep. it makes your dick feel like it's about to pop.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:49pm
  • if i received this tet from my bf i think my heart would melt. sad?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:37pm
  • 11:23...nothing needs to br re-read. Facts are simple, europe is pretty much taken over by hitler in a matter of weeks... Britian almost, If it weren't for us. I'm sure your life is shitty in Europe cause it's a shit hole over there... But thank America everyday of your shitty life it isn't shittier..( cause it would have been)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:41am
  • Yea most Europeans are pompous jerks.... but the british accent is hot as hell... but Brittain is still mad about the Revolutionary war where we got everything and they were left with thier hands out asking for more taxes

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:50pm
  • I think we are too busy enjoying a good morning fuck to care

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:53pm
  • I'm born and raised in the US, and pretty much everything posted thus far in regards to WWII and the Revolutionary War only furthers the point that we a bunch of blithering uneducated morons. Happy Independence Day!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:48pm
  • I loooooove this text! Probably because my boy is from MN and I was in Wisconsin for a trip a few months ago :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:16am
  • I don't give a rat's ass about Eurotrash or Ameriwhores, but I love me some morning wood!!! I'm married, so it's not slutty. ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:00pm
  • 12:35 the euros don't owe us, but to we'd be living under nazi america w/out russia is a bit much

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:28am
  • they're just jealous that americans know how to have fun. don't worry about them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:20pm
  • People aren't directly forced to stay, 10 PM, not like in Nazi territories. The facts that EOE is an easily faked term and lawyers like to get paid for their services make it harder than it should be. But some people just give up on trying or think the world owes them a living. And I used to be homeless, so I do know what I'm saying.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:21pm
  • How did this discussion happen?

    Submitted by jltc on May 22, 11 at 12:51pm
  • What started out as a simple "Man, I've got a raging boner this morning" turned into WWIII. I always figured this would happen....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:56pm
  • Is it wrong that the first thing I thought when I read this was "awww"? hahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:43am
  • Everyone sucks. There are nasty people everywhere. I will call you a liar if you said you didn't know anyone who got freaky every once and a while, no matter what country they're from.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:59am
  • this is the deepest discussion stemming from morning wood I have ever seen!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:02pm
  • damn...this conversation is a buzz kill.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:19am
  • Sounds like some of us americans need to do a little research on WWII. If it weren't for soviet support the allies would have lost the war. The euros don't have us to thank nor do we have them to thank. Without the russians we'd be living in nazi america right now. So try and get your shit straight before arguing false idiotic points. It makes us look bad....or I should say, worse.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:35am
  • 5.59 maybe you're right but it goes both ways. "Your whole continent smells of piss" - do you think the person who posted that is basing this on actual knowledge?! (For the record I have been in 14 states on 5 visits to the states - enough to form an opinion)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 6:55am
  • 12:45-I don't think she was lonely and all that shit. She just hates the U.S. and something set her off. It is pretty stupid how many girls stated they thought the text was so sute and romantic. I kind of understand, we're a bit of a joke as a society. I think when the german dude jumped in that's when the shit hit the fan. Ah well, people like to argue.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:55am
  • shut up you fucking douchebags

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:16pm
  • 4:19 so you are Russian then? ( :

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:39am
  • all i have to say is that i'm American and i love it and i don't give 2 shits whether these prude people like me or not.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:19pm
  • I live in Holland and we most of us dont like Americans, and i'm not just saying that. Maybe some of us just dont care but most ppl here dont like you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:49pm
  • 6:45, do you think it could reach me here in texas? sounds yummy ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:47pm
  • Why is there a big fight over Europeans vs. Americans? People from one country or one continent are still individuals.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:21am
  • 7:22 - sucks if you don't have someone to take care of it for you... I never let that go to waste ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:28pm
  • um doesn't europe have a reputation for being much more open sexually that america?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:38pm
  • i think this text is sweet, and maybe you europeans could get a life instead of sitting on this website :]

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:51pm
  • can't we all just get along?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:43am
  • yeah and european people don't shower. and british people have disgusting teeth. aren't stereotypes fun?!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:29pm
  • "why can't we be friends, whyyy can't we be friendsss"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:08am
  • EOE is a crock though. It's too easy to get around.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:52pm
  • My occassional morning uberwoods are kinda scary. I'm 6'3" and the entire head sits well above my navel when I'm laying down.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:45pm
  • It's funny that all these Europeans say they hate America... Cause if it wasn't for us stupid Americana, all u fucks would be living under hitlers regime. Next time your pussy as countrys ( that pull out of Iraq like a bunch of pussies u know who u are uk) get attacked, cause u will cause your a bunch of cunts, you'll be begging for america to rescue u.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 10:51am
  • without the russians we would have lost. likewise applies though, if the russians didnt have us they'd be fucked. however, every other country in between was busy changing out their tampons while hitler was kicking ass. the issue today is the European countries hate all the privileges we have. jealous bastards

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:40am
  • the U.K. sounds kinda boring

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:18pm
  • hahaha yeah ofcourse the US troops saved our lives, and UK did almost nothing, and the Russians??? they just gave up, 'cuz they knew Americans can take care of everything because they are the best nation in the world. I live in Germany and i am lucky to be a millioner so please choke with your dirty humburger and dont teach me about good life, Auf wiedersehen fat ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:56am
  • @12:48 I agree whole-heartedly. These people don't even realize that the declaration of independence was signed on 8/2/1776 and the Constitution signed on 9/17/1787. July 4th my ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 5:52pm
  • Dude. When did this turn into a flame war??? Let's all just appreciate the beauty of morning wood and those who partake in enjoying it, ummmmkay???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:49am
  • You all need to get over yourselves. This is about a hard on. Not some fight about what country is better. The world is going down the shitter. get over it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:54pm
  • 8:38 Yes, it is a continent. I meant to say "speak for your entire nation," but the message should still be clear enough.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:44pm
  • oh no! a bunch of nazis think we're stupid & slutty

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:18pm
  • Did we learn nothing from Michael Jackson??? It doesnt matter if you're black or white. Lets all have a group hug and embrace the morning wood......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:55pm
  • Getting a sexy text from your boyfriend and liking it doesn't make you a slut....in USA or Europe. You guys are no fun!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:57am
  • 11:36 ofcourse they didnt tell you they dont like americans - 'cuz you're american. you were just too american to understand that.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:51pm
  • C'mon people. We americans are arrogant pricks who are mostly fat slutty slobs. And that's how we like it apperantly. So fuck 'em.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:47pm
  • I think everyone is missing the point here......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 3:47am
  • lol 2:28, you should personally thank 2:40 for further proving your point.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:46am
  • Ummm, Europe = continent, not country.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:38pm
  • at least we have nice teeth and that does sound like quite spectacular... if only it could've reached

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:02am
  • 11:51 oh i get it, so when its anonymous you tell us you hate us but you wont say it to our faces, i wish i could be more like that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:09am
  • 9:25-- oh please!!!! give me a break. you should take a lesson from 9:49. our concept of a "ghetto" is a far cry from what you seem to be referring to.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:06pm
  • Im american and i love europe, when i was in europe last summer no one told me they hated americans they just said they hated Bush...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:36pm
  • 9:49 i live in nyc and you dont know what you talking about. Thats easy 4 u to say that nobody stops ppl from getting out of the ghetto. But the truth is that exept from phisical force EVERYTHING stops them to leave the ghetto.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:00pm
  • 9:29 you are not good enogh for us to hate you, we just dont like you. And most of those texts dont even talk about drunk nights or whatever, they just show how dumb you are and thats funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:48pm
  • 6:37, I would also love this text from my bf! :) I think it's hot.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:01pm
  • The only problem I ever have with it is trying to piss after I get out of bed. If it won't go away, I either have to just jerk it first, stand in the shower or, if I'm feeling really bold, brace myself on the wall and counter and lean forward to line up the shot.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:54pm
  • Thank you american soldiers for helping us Germans. bahahahaha... Americans were pussys in 2WW, you just make a good films about it but the truth is that without drunk crazy Russians from the east we would win.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:32pm
  • im canadian and i <3 americans!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:20pm
  • ahahahaha I love this.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:26pm
  • Your spectacular hardon makes me touch myself. Like right now

    Submitted by withheld on Sep 28, 10 at 3:53pm
  • I'm from the UK and I love getting texts like that from the guys I'm dating!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:27am
  • texts like these make me hope the terrorists win

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 7:57pm
  • fuck off or gordon brown will be the one hiding in a cave

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:20pm
  • I hope the recipient escapes Wisconsin soon and gets back to being loved up in the a.m.!! Before texting, I got phone calls like that and it definitely kept me focused on getting out of there!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:58pm
  • me toooo 7:01! morning wood is the best!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:12pm
  • AMERICA FUCKING RULES that is all

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:22pm
  • 8:49 #2 --- what makes you think we give two shits about what anyone in holland thinks? you say that like it's vital to our survival. ohhhhhhhh no! what will i do now?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:03pm
  • How can any of these self-righteous lowlifes really know what it's like to "be American", when they've never lived here. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be British....although, I've heard a lot about your grills over there.... :-S

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:51pm
  • Yes 6:37, sad indeed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:37pm
  • all this because a lonely, horny, depressed chick from the UK took her frustration out on some americans.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:45am
  • Family*, and thanks I will

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:14pm
  • i'm proud to be an American.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:17pm
  • 10:51 i think you have to re-read the history of 2WW. I am sure you saw a lot of very good films about the courage of americans but try to see the real picture and not the one they show your fat ass dumb slutty american mind in Steven Spielberg films. And go with your friends to Mcdonalds to talk about it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 11:23am
  • I CUM RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.... I should probably see a doctor about that

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 4:19am
  • yeah, 10:38, which is why i don't know why they're being a bunch of prudes and calling us slutty instead of just laughing at it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:04pm
  • Umm, Europe = cuntinent, tool, and weird

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:50pm
  • I'm from Germany and i agree with the UK girl. Maybe we just dont get you but for us Americans are gross people. Girls=sluts. Guys=stupid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:28pm
  • 5.00, 5.27; agreed. We are not all prudes with no sense of humour, thank you VERY much.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:03am
  • Did you know that supersized morning wood growth spurts have a whole day's worth of self esteem? Remember to thank your penis and give it a hand in the morning.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:31pm
  • wow.. what about the french? they're ALL about being naked.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 11:50pm
  • ugh all the euros on here need to settle down. guarantee half of them saying shit about us have never even been here.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:59pm
  • we didn't start the fire. it was always burning, since the world's been turning.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:50am
  • yet you visit our websites to read about how much fun we had last night. if you hate us so much, then why do you care?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:29pm
  • 7:57, that is absolutely disgusting.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:10pm
  • Right, because no European woman enjoys waking up to find her boyfriend has a raging erection. Way to lump the myriad voices of your country to fit your own delusions of national grandeur, you wanker.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:15pm
  • quick question. what reason does anyone in europe have to hate americans so much?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:51pm
  • See, that sort of thing is why so many Americans think Europeans are pompous pricks. Those of you who try to speak for the entire nation assume that the rest of your countrymen share your sweeping negative generalization of us, which is based on your extremely minimal -- and likely biased -- interaction with us.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:35pm
  • "Ghetto" doesn't mean what it did in Nazi Germany, at least not in America. The government isn't forcing people into or to stay in them. Some people are born into bad conditions, but if they can afford to get out, they're allowed to do so.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:49pm
  • All you cunts wishing for this text from your BFs are stupid twits. Like it's cute or romantic, you're all pathetic jokes of women. In the U.K. this could never be construed as that. Fucking americans.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:05pm
  • Everybody knows that they're fucking idiots right? Fighting for their countries and their historical standings on a post about morning wood. Keep livin' the dream guys.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:28am
  • We didn't start the flame war.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:15am
  • Hey now! Let's get back to the meaning of this text.. Will one of you guys please invent a boner that can travel from Afgan/Iraq to the states.. It's really not cool not getting any cuz of war when you're a newly wed...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:20pm
  • Oh yeah.. And stfu you pos euros.. Who always bails you out of wars.. AMERICAN SOLDIERS?! We should have let you all die in Hitler's ghettos.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:22pm
  • Americans are dirty, men have no respect for weman, girls are sluts. And you call us nazis? ( : hahaha maybe we WERE nazis but you are the one who have ghettos in 2009.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:25pm
  • LET'S GET SOUR ON SOME KRAUTS!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:47pm
  • Idgaf about Europe, your whole continent smells like piss And thank you, 9 25, for calling me, my mom, and my little cousin of 14 years of age sluts, I feel the love

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:03pm
  • This is a really inappropriate place for this discussion but to the UK girl who started it all - speak for yourself love. I'm from the UK and I would have found that text really funny. "Romantic" not so much though...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 5:00am
  • wow. I just typed a long ass thing and there was an error. fuck you tfln

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:51pm
  • hahahaha i cant belive you guys talk about 2 world war when the text is about a hard american dick

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:36pm
  • I'M AN AMERICAN AND I DON'T MIND SAYING THAT I LIKE GETTING DIRTY TEXTS! HELL YEAH!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:03am
  • fuck yeah canada. i love my country.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:37pm
  • Rite! N hoo givs a fuk abowt speling? Hoo our ewe two tell mi hau two spel?! Ewe putt ewes n ease n da midull of erry werd! ^Gigantic Load of Sarcasm^

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:49pm
  • canada just so happens to rule :) and we helped win WWI and WWII

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 12:29am
  • agreed 5:59, i feel like they only know what they see on television, the ridiculous things that go on here, but i assure you that most americans also find those same things to be ridiculous

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 7:15pm
  • youre a fucking loser 2:28 for taking your time to tell us we're wasting our time. let us waste our time and have fun arguing about which country/continent is better.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 3:38am
  • HAHAHAHAHA 9:09. gotta love an anonymous cyber-hardass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:09pm
  • Haha, might as well be able to reach that far.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 6:48pm
  • I agree with 7:28.... morning sex makes my day

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:34pm
  • 9:00 nevermind i dont want to start this here. Lots of love to you from Holland. ( :

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 9:09pm
  • 10:03 say hi to your slutty famely

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 10:12pm
  • haha i didnt know so much europians visit this dirty american site ( : fuck US, St. Petersburg's the best!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:53pm
  • i just found the page "ijustwanttotellyou" good twist on these kinda places

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 11:43pm
  • Fuck off weinerschintzel....Your fucking language sounds like a retarded german shepherd.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:42pm
  • hahaha, reppin' minnesota with morning wood.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 10:34pm
  • I'm American, but without Hitler attacking the USSR, allies were fucked. The Red Army through millions of bodies at Germany and that was what won the war.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:52pm
  • Why can't my bf send me a text like this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:50pm
  • 1:36, why do you find it to be so? to each his own, but i'm seriously curious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:07am
  • i would so love my bf even more if i got that text message! altho i dont know if there is room to love him more! :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 7:53pm
  • hate on America all you want, but don't act like you know us, from my experience the exchange students from Europe were always the sluttiest girls at the school

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:48pm
  • It's sexy AND romantic

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:40pm
  • The declaration of independence may have been signed on August 2nd, but it was in fact declared and printed on July 4th, 1776. moron.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 7:44pm
  • I hate morning sex. It's the least pleasurable time to have sex.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:36am
  • no need to trash us. you could simply say you don't like us. no need for name-calling.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 2, 09 at 8:32pm
  • The UK did almost nothing, 11.56? Do you want to tell that to the families of the nearly half a million UK citizens killed in WWII? Yes, America helped the allies win but show some fucking respect.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 2:28pm
  • like stranger in Moscow.... la la la al ..... RIP

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 9:59am
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