Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

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  (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy http://tfl.nu/8awt
  Replies (110) Good night (14696) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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  (201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0
  Replies (12) Good night (2955) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side

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  (817): i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side http://tfl.nu/uejy
  Replies (54) Good night (9872) Bad night (1517) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.

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  (517): I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell. http://tfl.nu/ey83
  Replies (24) Good night (3381) Bad night (2631) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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  (720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp
  Replies (29) Good night (3642) Bad night (915)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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  (347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd
  Replies (13) Good night (4133) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I feel great

  (650): View more from California

  I just peed on a car

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  (650): I feel great (650): I just peed on a car http://tfl.nu/eq9k
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (509)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?

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  (585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? http://tfl.nu/wdl8
  Replies (59) Good night (3738) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.

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  (530): I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/7iib
  Replies (54) Good night (4475) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again

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  (914): woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again http://tfl.nu/hmop
  Replies (9) Good night (4105) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127090) Bad night (2831) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
  Replies (19) Good night (3866) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere

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  (201): As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/2ys4
  Replies (58) Good night (14539) Bad night (1204)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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  (248): going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school. http://tfl.nu/hpld
  Replies (30) Good night (6240) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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  (267): Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet? http://tfl.nu/aedp
  Replies (24) Good night (4666) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

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  (952): I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/qw9z
  Replies (29) Good night (13128) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

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  (203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you http://tfl.nu/8puo
  Replies (39) Good night (19390) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.

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  (502): guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct. http://tfl.nu/g5ut
  Replies (48) Good night (5414) Bad night (2098) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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  (717): My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential. http://tfl.nu/qhq9
  Replies (23) Good night (883) Bad night (4640) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!

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  (407): At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick! http://tfl.nu/dynw
  Replies (56) Good night (1184) Bad night (8990) Order T-Shirt