Texts From Last Night · Monarchical's Favorites

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Monarchical's Favorites Texts:

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(514): View more from Quebec

His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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(514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym

Replies (43) Good night (9887) Bad night (1487) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

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(954): you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you. http://tfl.nu/vwt4

Replies (21) Good night (5946) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(337): View more from Louisiana

we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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(337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5

Replies (15) Good night (3659) Bad night (296)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

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(908): im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis http://tfl.nu/pro9

Replies (14) Good night (3206) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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(303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0

Replies (43) Good night (1659) Bad night (13466) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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(925): I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me http://tfl.nu/miwp

Replies (26) Good night (5837) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.

(706): View more from Georgia

Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.

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(404): Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me. (706): Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest. http://tfl.nu/zfpy

Replies (75) Good night (1918) Bad night (3715)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Want to have sex later?

(614): View more from Ohio

This feels like a trap

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(419): Want to have sex later? (614): This feels like a trap http://tfl.nu/uak4

Replies (27) Good night (3072) Bad night (611)
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(937): View more from Ohio

i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

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(937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6

Replies (22) Good night (1480) Bad night (8065)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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(704): I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying. http://tfl.nu/un4v

Replies (24) Good night (984) Bad night (9240)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo

Replies (34) Good night (6858) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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(512): Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie. http://tfl.nu/3ijz

Replies (18) Good night (7137) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0

Replies (1607) Good night (161060) Bad night (40036) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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(214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s

Replies (178) Good night (82618) Bad night (2359) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How was it?

(847): View more from Illinois

Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk

Replies (199) Good night (82894) Bad night (6392)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would do horrible things to your vagina.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Prove it.

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(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3

Replies (178) Good night (89796) Bad night (3904)
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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap

Replies (816) Good night (136581) Bad night (8388) Order T-Shirt

Monarchical's Favorites Texts:

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