Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Randomize