duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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