No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
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I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
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I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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