Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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