you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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