I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
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Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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