just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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