i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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