The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize