Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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