I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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