but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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