I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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