we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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