Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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