some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize