This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm sobbing to NWA
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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