I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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