I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize