Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize