just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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