just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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