O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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