Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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