yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize