Texts From Last Night

(231): View more from Michigan

OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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Go to hell, that's where you worthless piece of crap.

Submitted by AnonSequitur on Oct 1, 10 at 2:41pm

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- Well you have to be worth something if you have a home, wife and girlfriend
  
  Submitted by steve11111 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:01pm
  
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  - steve11111: that's gold
    
    Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:43pm
    
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- why ? where is the wife ? where is the girlfriend?\nthey are not doing it for him , let him go where ever he wants and let those dumb bitches figure it out that they are worthless hos
  
  Submitted by joele60 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:08pm
  
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  - joele60 havent you ever heard of morals ass?! apparently not and you dont deserve any girl if this is YOUR mentality! why don't you go play in traffic and save all us girls the time to deal with douches like you.
    
    Submitted by violinisetrnlluv on Oct 2, 10 at 2:54pm
    
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Go home to your wife hopefully to realize she's with her boyfriend and you got what you deserved

Submitted by Phys on Oct 1, 10 at 2:40pm

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I think my husband deserves more head for not being a pathetic, waste of humanity such as yourself.

Submitted by iblowpops on Oct 1, 10 at 6:56pm

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Its your choice. But on the way, make sure you run blindly into oncoming traffic. Asshole!

Submitted by urallstupid on Oct 1, 10 at 2:38pm

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- Why would you want him to kill other people? A guardrail will be better.
  
  Submitted by abbyyy070411 on Feb 4, 12 at 8:01pm
  
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Knowing people from this area code. The wife and girlfriend are probably sisters

Submitted by johhny on Oct 1, 10 at 2:43pm

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- maybe they're HIS sisters
  
  Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:44pm
  
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Might as well go home with your girlfriend since you won't have a wife much longer anyway.

Submitted by acolorfulgirl on Oct 1, 10 at 10:58pm

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Youre fucked up.

Submitted by eorlas on Oct 1, 10 at 2:37pm

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I hope you don't make it home

Submitted by BrooklynGuy71 on Oct 1, 10 at 10:05pm

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Maybe those are just names for his right and left hand? haaaa

Submitted by MrSlapChop on Oct 2, 10 at 5:37am

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- nice
  
  Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:46pm
  
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This is why girls can't trut guys these daays. Assholee

Submitted by sexiee69 on Oct 1, 10 at 2:38pm

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- and with all the girls cheating on guys texts? are u good?
  
  Submitted by a_mayo_packet on Oct 1, 10 at 11:59pm
  
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- Trust. Asshole.
  
  Submitted by tsfm on Oct 2, 10 at 2:48am
  
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- trust , where are those women \nnot taking care of buissness
  
  Submitted by joele60 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:11pm
  
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Go shove a glass dildo covered with shards of glass up your ass.

Submitted by AlbinoBlackSheep on Oct 1, 10 at 3:31pm

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- Worst insult ever. It's like something a nerdy thirteen year old boy would think was cool.
  
  Submitted by sayahhhh on Oct 1, 10 at 5:09pm
  
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- that makes you sound stupid
  
  Submitted by tekmoboots on Oct 1, 10 at 5:27pm
  
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Take the girlfriend home for a threesome.

Submitted by cfreymarc on Oct 1, 10 at 4:26pm

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Nicknames for his hands. Funny as Hell. And fat guys are worse than fat chicks. Gross.

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Oct 2, 10 at 10:23pm

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Go to the gf, the wife is getting hers

Submitted by step11 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:02pm

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Dooooooooooooshhhhhhhhhh

Submitted by leighton on Oct 1, 10 at 4:47pm

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- this would be so much better if you knew how to spell. DOUCHE.
  
  Submitted by ajoboston on Oct 2, 10 at 1:19am
  
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  - win!
    
    Submitted by beccaboo91 on Nov 16, 10 at 1:26am
    
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Go fuck a land mine.

Submitted by mvcolville on Oct 2, 10 at 6:01pm

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Sounds like the question Don Draper asks himself every night.

Submitted by lankykong on Oct 1, 10 at 5:49pm

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Hey blockhead48... Never wish aids upon anyone. That makes you in the same class as this fuck.

Submitted by clydemiester on Oct 1, 10 at 8:32pm

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It's funny because this text was a joke someone wrote and everyone is too stupid to realize it. Why else would it be on this site

Submitted by ncboi on Oct 2, 10 at 12:10am

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Sigh. Cant tfln go one day without posting something inflammatory

Submitted by failurewarning on Oct 2, 10 at 4:15pm

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Why not both?

Submitted by deming1019 on Oct 1, 10 at 8:35pm

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Who's closest?!

Submitted by hootch on Oct 1, 10 at 9:44pm

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I like this guy

Submitted by dunk123 on Oct 3, 10 at 10:49pm

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Go to the next bar and try to find even more girlfriends.

Submitted by crhowe0525 on Oct 1, 10 at 5:24pm

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look at morals on the tfln repliers lmao

Submitted by thetruth13 on Oct 1, 10 at 4:58pm

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- Well, it's a guy doing it, so all the fat chicks are up in (chicken-winged) arms about it.
  
  Submitted by TheWelcomeRain on Oct 1, 10 at 5:16pm
  
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Fuck that goto your girlfriend then the gym workout shower then goto your wife!

Submitted by sk8rpnk96 on Nov 17, 10 at 11:39pm

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you dump your girlfriend, go home to your wife, and make her the happiest woman alive for as long as she lives because that's what she deserves and no matter how long and how hard you try you can never make up for what you did. so you better start trying now. you stupid jackass.

Submitted by beccaboo91 on Nov 16, 10 at 1:24am

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Go to hell, douchebag

Submitted by luv2txt on Oct 1, 10 at 9:30pm

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hahaha. damn. that's funny

Submitted by Dampman on Oct 1, 10 at 3:05pm

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Which everyone will give you aids fastest fuckface

Submitted by blockhead48 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:31pm

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It's been said before, but bears repeating: bring the girlfriend home as a present to the wife. Menage a trois for the win!

Submitted by Led_Head on Oct 4, 10 at 6:32pm

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Asshole!

Submitted by EJS4 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:41am

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Screw that, go to Denny's instead!

Submitted by Finaddict on Oct 2, 10 at 3:08pm

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Tfln is funny sometimes but shit like this just makes me smh for all of humanity

Submitted by outtalakechuck on Oct 2, 10 at 10:46pm

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DiediediediediediediediediediediedieDiediediediediediediediediediediedieDiediediediediediediediediediediedieDiediediediediediediediediediediedieDiediediediediediediediediediediedieDiediediediediediediediediediediedie

Submitted by SpankyMcThrust on Oct 2, 10 at 4:34am

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I personally find this hilarious

Submitted by edhunt77 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:09am

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Neither man there's usually a nice cliff nearby you can write a letter to your wife and tell her your a piece of shit. Then jump off. Or you can come to me and I would much rather slam your face into the concrete and break all your ribs. But hey I'm just a guy who loves my wife what do I know lol

Submitted by 14jenny on Oct 3, 10 at 5:38am

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Fat girls are a pain in the ass

Submitted by dubsac on Oct 2, 10 at 8:10pm

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Why not a little of both?

Submitted by MrMojoRisen on Oct 2, 10 at 1:43am

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I don't care who you are if you cheat you're a worthless piece of shit. I hope the guy has kids and they hate him for the rest of their life.

Submitted by mtm83 on Oct 2, 10 at 4:52am

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What a champ.... You sir are a man to be admired!

Submitted by Gavin53 on Jun 11, 11 at 8:19pm

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I envy u sit

Submitted by osubeast on Oct 3, 10 at 8:35pm

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Cheating bastard. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go

Submitted by plpbaby143 on Aug 27, 12 at 1:36am

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Why not a little of both?

Submitted by MrMojoRisen on Oct 2, 10 at 1:47am

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BOTH! :)

Submitted by MizzRhi84 on May 13, 11 at 9:53am

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Go to the gf. Wifes don't put out.

Submitted by WhiskeyKid420 on Oct 1, 10 at 5:04pm

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Loser!!!

Submitted by jprincess on Oct 1, 10 at 5:43pm

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Shit they not home either there with the guy who has a bigger dick and knows how to use it

Submitted by ButtaP129 on Oct 2, 10 at 8:06am

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_QDGdbg-QQ&feature=related

Submitted by crazyman217 on May 24, 11 at 5:30pm

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Decisions decisions lol

Submitted by resident_me on Oct 1, 10 at 2:49pm

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This shouldn't have any Thumb ups at all. That is low. Burn in hell cheaters!!!

Submitted by KingOfSparta on Oct 1, 11 at 2:54am

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Loloool

Submitted by Eminem07481 on Oct 1, 10 at 6:15pm

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People relax some of us our polyamerous, meaning his wife may know about and be ok with his gf.

Submitted by SparkOfJade on Oct 1, 10 at 3:04pm

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- First, it's polyamorous. Second, I doubt it.
  
  Submitted by heyhey49 on Oct 1, 10 at 3:18pm
  
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  - *Like.*
    
    Submitted by sarahrochelle on Oct 1, 10 at 4:54pm
    
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Everyone is stupid except for the people laughing.. There cool... (see last reply)

Submitted by ncboi on Oct 2, 10 at 12:13am

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- They're. They are cool. Not "there", as in a place, cool.
  
  Submitted by tsfm on Oct 2, 10 at 2:47am
  
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Been there.

Submitted by SparkOfJade on Oct 1, 10 at 3:03pm

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How bout you stop cheating on your wife you dirty f*ck

Submitted by xZACxATTACx814x on Oct 18, 10 at 10:54pm

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Girlfriend, then shower, then wife.

Submitted by Jughead on Oct 2, 10 at 7:47pm

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Lol get grip people....it takes all kinds to make a world.

Submitted by ZX200 on Oct 9, 10 at 5:21am

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WoW so sad......

Submitted by iLLuSioNzZ on Oct 2, 10 at 2:26pm

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Nice one dude =)

Submitted by sk8rpnk96 on Oct 8, 10 at 8:44am

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Go to the gf for a bit then act like something came up, and then go to the wife

Submitted by morningwood on Oct 1, 10 at 3:15pm

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I hope your girlfriend goes Fatal\nAttraction on your ass

Submitted by katypsu620 on Sep 19, 12 at 12:33am

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(231): View more from Michigan

Comments

Submitted by AnonSequitur on Oct 1, 10 at 2:41pm

Submitted by steve11111 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:01pm

Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:43pm

Submitted by joele60 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:08pm

Submitted by violinisetrnlluv on Oct 2, 10 at 2:54pm

Submitted by Phys on Oct 1, 10 at 2:40pm

Submitted by iblowpops on Oct 1, 10 at 6:56pm

Submitted by urallstupid on Oct 1, 10 at 2:38pm

Submitted by abbyyy070411 on Feb 4, 12 at 8:01pm

Submitted by johhny on Oct 1, 10 at 2:43pm

Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:44pm

Submitted by acolorfulgirl on Oct 1, 10 at 10:58pm

Submitted by eorlas on Oct 1, 10 at 2:37pm

Submitted by BrooklynGuy71 on Oct 1, 10 at 10:05pm

Submitted by MrSlapChop on Oct 2, 10 at 5:37am

Submitted by said8ED on Oct 8, 10 at 8:46pm

Submitted by sexiee69 on Oct 1, 10 at 2:38pm

Submitted by a_mayo_packet on Oct 1, 10 at 11:59pm

Submitted by tsfm on Oct 2, 10 at 2:48am

Submitted by joele60 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:11pm

Submitted by AlbinoBlackSheep on Oct 1, 10 at 3:31pm

Submitted by sayahhhh on Oct 1, 10 at 5:09pm

Submitted by tekmoboots on Oct 1, 10 at 5:27pm

Submitted by cfreymarc on Oct 1, 10 at 4:26pm

Submitted by TiCkLe_Me_EmO on Oct 2, 10 at 10:23pm

Submitted by step11 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:02pm

Submitted by leighton on Oct 1, 10 at 4:47pm

Submitted by ajoboston on Oct 2, 10 at 1:19am

Submitted by beccaboo91 on Nov 16, 10 at 1:26am

Submitted by mvcolville on Oct 2, 10 at 6:01pm

Submitted by lankykong on Oct 1, 10 at 5:49pm

Submitted by clydemiester on Oct 1, 10 at 8:32pm

Submitted by ncboi on Oct 2, 10 at 12:10am

Submitted by failurewarning on Oct 2, 10 at 4:15pm

Submitted by deming1019 on Oct 1, 10 at 8:35pm

Submitted by hootch on Oct 1, 10 at 9:44pm

Submitted by dunk123 on Oct 3, 10 at 10:49pm

Submitted by crhowe0525 on Oct 1, 10 at 5:24pm

Submitted by thetruth13 on Oct 1, 10 at 4:58pm

Submitted by TheWelcomeRain on Oct 1, 10 at 5:16pm

Submitted by sk8rpnk96 on Nov 17, 10 at 11:39pm

Submitted by beccaboo91 on Nov 16, 10 at 1:24am

Submitted by luv2txt on Oct 1, 10 at 9:30pm

Submitted by Dampman on Oct 1, 10 at 3:05pm

Submitted by blockhead48 on Oct 1, 10 at 7:31pm

Submitted by Led_Head on Oct 4, 10 at 6:32pm

Submitted by EJS4 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:41am

Submitted by Finaddict on Oct 2, 10 at 3:08pm

Submitted by outtalakechuck on Oct 2, 10 at 10:46pm

Submitted by SpankyMcThrust on Oct 2, 10 at 4:34am

Submitted by edhunt77 on Oct 2, 10 at 12:09am

Submitted by 14jenny on Oct 3, 10 at 5:38am

Submitted by dubsac on Oct 2, 10 at 8:10pm

Submitted by MrMojoRisen on Oct 2, 10 at 1:43am

Submitted by mtm83 on Oct 2, 10 at 4:52am

Submitted by Gavin53 on Jun 11, 11 at 8:19pm

Submitted by osubeast on Oct 3, 10 at 8:35pm

Submitted by plpbaby143 on Aug 27, 12 at 1:36am

Submitted by MrMojoRisen on Oct 2, 10 at 1:47am

Submitted by MizzRhi84 on May 13, 11 at 9:53am

Submitted by WhiskeyKid420 on Oct 1, 10 at 5:04pm

Submitted by jprincess on Oct 1, 10 at 5:43pm

Submitted by ButtaP129 on Oct 2, 10 at 8:06am

Submitted by crazyman217 on May 24, 11 at 5:30pm

Submitted by resident_me on Oct 1, 10 at 2:49pm

Submitted by KingOfSparta on Oct 1, 11 at 2:54am

Submitted by Eminem07481 on Oct 1, 10 at 6:15pm

Submitted by SparkOfJade on Oct 1, 10 at 3:04pm

Submitted by heyhey49 on Oct 1, 10 at 3:18pm

Submitted by sarahrochelle on Oct 1, 10 at 4:54pm

Submitted by ncboi on Oct 2, 10 at 12:13am

Submitted by tsfm on Oct 2, 10 at 2:47am

Submitted by SparkOfJade on Oct 1, 10 at 3:03pm

Submitted by xZACxATTACx814x on Oct 18, 10 at 10:54pm

Submitted by Jughead on Oct 2, 10 at 7:47pm

Submitted by ZX200 on Oct 9, 10 at 5:21am

Submitted by iLLuSioNzZ on Oct 2, 10 at 2:26pm

Submitted by sk8rpnk96 on Oct 8, 10 at 8:44am