Texts From Last Night

KingOfSparta's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option) http://tfl.nu/d3t6
  Replies (13) Good night (3942) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer". http://tfl.nu/vh03
  Replies (7) Good night (4231) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs. http://tfl.nu/e8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (1854) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168212) Bad night (42143) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji
  Replies (9) Good night (5347) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8
  Replies (15) Good night (6256) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you. http://tfl.nu/dykx
  Replies (8) Good night (3266) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93442) Bad night (4586)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2724) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name." http://tfl.nu/v79x
  Replies (16) Good night (4126) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563
  Replies (21) Good night (4518) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified http://tfl.nu/y3tt
  Replies (13) Good night (2398) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt