i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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