last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize