i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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