Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize