Apparently you make a good broom.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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