Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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