i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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