The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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