Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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