after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
