You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this just has baby written all over it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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