Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're like the curious george of whores
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he just fucked me for my cheese..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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