i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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