he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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