We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize