i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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