are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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