i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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