fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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