I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize