that's an acceptable place to lick
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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