Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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