just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize