omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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