the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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